That awkward moment when…

Fucking Nelson legit slapped me in the fucking face with that “joke”. He said it was a joke, but that shit didn’t feel like a joke. I know what jokes feel like and that wasn’t one of them. It made me immediately stop laughing. It made me lock my happiness away within a matter of a mili-second. He laughed about it, so did a few people who heard what he said to me. He tried to continue the conversation he was having and he noticed that I was seriously bothered by what he said. He then tried to come over to me and rub his stomach on me to make me laugh. Shit wasn’t anywhere near funny. I pushed him off of me every time he got in my face. He eventually gave up and walked away. He tried to come up to me to again apologize and I ignored him and kept to myself. After that, I didn’t speak. I didn’t say shit to anyone. I was quiet all the way up until show started. But when everyone was dancing around and acting really stupid, he walked by me laying down on stage. It was dark and he couldn’t see me. I coughed and he was taken aback by me. He asked who was where I was and I thought for a moment if I should even fucking answer. But I did. And he came up to me and said that he was legit sorry and he didn’t know I was going to get that offended by it. I said okay to him and he walked away thinking him and I were on good terms again. We weren’t. I didn’t want ANYTHING to do with Nelson ever again. Ever. And then in Company Meeting, I walked in singing the song from Jealousy Jane and he continuously asked me to stop. I didn’t. I actually continued just because he asked me to stop. Then he got really mad and walked out of the classroom. Right then was when I had finally laughed/smiled in about two hours. His anger made me so fucking happy that after that I was jolly as fuck. When Company Meeting was over, I was walking out of the classroom and he asked me if I hated him and didn’t like him anymore. I looked at him, slowly turned and looked at Noel who was standing right next to both of us, waited a few seconds, and said hi to Noel and walked away, completely ignoring Nelson in the process. Through the whole show, I stayed mad at Nelson. I mean it’s not like he gives a damn anyway if I’m mad at him or not. In Company Meeting after the second show, I tried to go up to him and say sorry for everything because during company meeting he made me laugh. But he was busy talking to Angel that I didn’t bother. I really didn’t want to leave out this week on that note with him, but I said fuck it. He didn’t want to hear what I had to say, so I left. Cool story bro.

Now, I’m sitting here with Our Hell on repeat and just thinking so hard as to who Nelson is to me. It’s really fucking weird. Because Manny makes all the fucking black jokes in the world to me and I never get upset like I did with Nelson today. I have major problems. I really think I’ve been spending too much damn time with that Troupe. I can’t even… :’(